Fear

Fear is one of the hardest things to overcome.  Right now I've had a lot of it and I'm so tired.  There's things we've been dealing with as a family that have wiped me out but now my health has become the problem and the fear creator.  I got word today that I have nodules in both my left and right thyroid that are gonna have to be biopsied and I'm truly scared.  Don't get me wrong if it's meant to take me home I know where I will go but it's hard not to think about all those that need me right now and all the dreams I've had.  It may be nothing and I may be worrying for nothing but something feels a little different this time.  I've told the Lord for a while now that I would go thru whatever it took to see my family saved and if this is it He knows what's best.  That doesn't mean that my flesh isn't saying run away.  It seems like here lately when it's rained it's poured and as I'm typing this I'm reminded of a song I first heard when a friend of mine's son was dying from cancer.
Blessings by Laura Story
We pray for blessings We pray for peace Comfort for family, protection while we sleep We pray for healing, for prosperity We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering All the while, You hear each spoken need Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom Your voice to hear And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love As if every promise from Your Word is not enough All the while, You hear each desperate plea And long that we have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us When darkness seems to win We know that pain reminds this heart That this is not, this is not our home It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears And what if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near What if my greatest disappointments Or the achings of this life Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy And what if trials of this life The rain, the storms, the hardest nights Are Your mercies in disguise

What if all of this is so He can show how powerful He is.  I'm gonna do my best to rest in the fact that He's in control and I am His child thru the blood of Jesus Christ.  I love you all and I hope this is a help to someone who reads it.