It Had To Be God

I started contemplating writing this Wednesday but didn't have time.  We have been in revival at Oak Grove Missionary Baptist Church in Marshall since September 18th and we just closed last night.  This revival seemingly had a theme and that was "it has to be God".  I got to thinking about all of the times in my life that I could say without any doubt "it had to be God".  The first time was on April 1, 1995.  It was a Saturday and Coles Cove Baptist Church was in revival with Bro. Lee Davis preaching.  I can't tell you what Bro. Lee was preaching but I have no doubt God saved my soul.  The next time that sticks out in my mind was when I went away to college.  I'm not proud of it but at that time I was rebellious and was willing to consider doing things I shouldn't've even thought about but God had placed certain friends in my life that I could call and they would remind me of what was right.  During that same time my grandfather was dying with cancer.  The one thing he told the hospice nurse he wanted to take a vacation to Chattanooga to see.  Well he never made it to Chattanooga but he lived long enough for my uncle to get me home to tell him I loved him one more time.  You can't tell me that God didn't do that.  Another moment that comes to mind is last year's revival when Christian got saved.  God knew what all these kids would be facing and saved both of them young.  He saved Calista Wednesday night.  I'm sure there's more examples in my life that fit that but these are the ones that come to mind right now.  I'm so thankful for all of them.

Week 1 post surgery

 well as of today I am one week post-surgery it has been a fairly easy ride and not any complications doing my liquid diet still and have lost down to 339. I'm thankful that God brought me thru surgery without anything like pain or nausea.

Liquid Diet Phase

I started my liquid diet on Monday after celebrating my birthday on Sunday.  Monday was a little difficult because I was off but since then it has gotten easier.  I am now down below 350 lbs which for me is huge.  I'm proving to myself everyday that I can do this.  What I am most excited about is I can't recall a time when I wasn't over weight so to see me smaller is going to be fun.  I was trying to imagine that last night and I couldn't even see a smaller me but I know it's gonna happen.  Have a great afternoon.

New Obstacles

Good afternoon all.  I found out a few days ago that BCBS (Blue Cross Blue Shield) was requiring 12 months worth of discussion and work on my weight.  This is a little aggravating since I have had doctors telling me most of my life how to fix my weight problem but nothing has really worked.  What they don't seem to understand right now is that this was not an easy decision.  When I was 16 I had a doctor that did everything in his power to get me in to have surgery.  I didn't want it and up until about 2 years ago I didn't think it would really do any good.  Then my dad went through the program and I realized that the way the program is now was so much better and it became a consideration.  I'm looking forward to all the possibilities that are in front of me and I hope to be in better shape for my 30s and onward.  I had my last appointment with Mission Weight Management yesterday and got the approval to go see the surgeon.  So hopefully I will see him within the next 2-3 weeks and know the plan of attack from there.  I have got a few things that have occurred recently that I'm worried about but I know there's a reason for it happening now and not down the road.  So for now I will focus on the good and deal with whatever comes as it comes.

Success and Beginning to feel new

Well I woke up yesterday morning thinking it's gonna be a stress free day and it's gonna be good.  About an hour and a half later I got a text that basically put an end to it being stress free.  I'm not a drama person and I thought well there goes my whole day.  Instead of eating to relieve it I stuck with my schedule and looked forward to my weight loss support group.  For me that 1.5 hours last night was a chance to get away and forget about everything.  I went home ate a little supper and I didn't expect to really see a weight loss because when I'm stressed even though I watch my eating some how I still end up with some weight.  Well not last night.  I woke up this morning and I was 365lbs.  I am now officially below the goal the weight loss center gave me and I'm still working towards being 350lbs if possible before I start my liquid diet.  I found myself all of the sudden feeling like a new person yesterday too.  My weight has always been a problem but I'm finally feeling optimistic about my ability to change it and I'm doing it.

Not letting stress win

This weekend brought some more stress but I had the will power to control what I ate and even though I didn't lose I didn't gain.  For me that's a plus cause normally if I'm stressed I don't think about the rules.
On top of that I weighed this morning and I was 369.  Yay I broke to 370lb mark.  3 more pounds to the goal set by the bariatric center and 19 more pounds to my top goal.  However I will celebrate if I'm at 360 when I meet with the surgeon.  I'm loving everyday even though stress is causing my body to fight I'm not giving in cause this is too important.

So that was yesterday and I didn't publish it but I'm going to add to it today.  I am now at 368lbs and I'm figuring out what has helped change everything.  I've changed some more of my eating habits and I'm eating at least 2 hours before bed.  With the hours I'm working right now that's normally supper.  I'm also learning to avoid or ignore things that I know are going to irritate me so that I don't build up tension.

I'm also setting my goals and I think they are fairly reasonable.  They are weight related but also exercise related.

Goal for 4/30-5/6 Weigh 366 walk the dog 2 days
Goal for 5/7-5/13 Weigh 362 walk the dog 3 days
Goal for 5/14-5/20 Weigh 358 walk the dog 4 days
Goal for 5/21-5/27 Weigh 354 walk the dog 5 days
Goal for 5/28-6/3 Weigh 350 walk the dog 6 days

I believe if I can achieve these goals I will be well on my way to success with everything I'm doing.  I also know that as long as I am moving and starting to feel better I'm headed the right way.

Facing your fears

Well I have my appointment with the endocrinologist today.  I don't know for sure that they will do a biopsy but I'm prepared if they do.  I've thought a lot the past few days about Job.  Now I am no where near the type of person Job was but yet it seems that God has chosen to allow all of these different trials to come at once.  If it wasn't for the Lord and the church family He has given me I don't know if I could make it.  It has felt like the old saying has come true when it rains it pours but I realize now that it's ok.  God's got this.  It rained on Job and he never cursed God.  It's raining now but with the strength that the Lord gives I will stand I will glorify Him no matter what.  I've prayed for years that if it took me facing major sickness to save my family that the Lord would do it.  I don't know yet what this is but all I want from it is His name glorified and souls to be saved.  It's funny you would think I would be scared right now but I'm not.  Whatever it is and whatever it means I know He's in control and will bring me thru either on this side or the other.  Life is full of curveballs and trials it's how we handle them that makes a difference.